Trojan Pam's Great Words on Women (including other people showing Gems too).

Thanks to all of you for bringing this conversation down to earth (especially for myself)

It’s super important NOT to get on our high horses and look down on other victims just because we think we are less confused.

And I suspect I do this a lot.

Because black people — including myself — submit everyday to white domination, whether we understand or accept this or not.

And so the focus MUST remain on the white supremacy system and not on what is wrong with the victims because something is wrong with EVERYONE who lives within a system of oppression — including and especially the OPPRESSORS.

But I do understand the frustration of watching us make the same mistakes over and over and not being able to reach as many people with this info as we would like.

-Trojan Pam

____________________

TrojanPam says:

February 21, 2014 at 5:37 pm

@ Courtney H.

I heard about this video several days ago and it is a clear example of how much damage is being done to black people at an early age.

I don’t agree with the narrator’s point of view, and all that name-calling, since WE all submit to white supremacy — including ME and the narrator of that video.

He actually serves as a reminder of what I shouldn’t do (and need to stop doing).

Making fun of other victims, rather than talking about racism/white supremacy

Because this actually SUPPORTS the system of racism/white supremacy.

Thanks for sharing it.

______________

Courtney H. says:
February 21, 2014 at 6:33 pm
@ Trojan Pam:

You’re welcome.

I appreciate everyone’s responses. I agree that we can’t get hung up on not being accepted by Whites, because as I am learning more and more, most of them hate us just for existing. Their acceptance and approval are not worth it.

I also agree that name-calling against other Blacks doesn’t help, either. We need to be more supportive of one another. That is the message that I am personally receiving from various blogs, including this one.

Again, thank you for your response and understanding.

________________

LBM says:
February 21, 2014 at 1:30 pm
I don’t know how Seun was originally placed in Dalton but it’s worth noting that his parents did eventually take him out and placed him in a rather “afrocentric” institution through which he went on his first trip to Africa. (I’m familiar with the high school). Idris stayed at Dalton through high school. Idris’ parents are actually the film makers and more than a few parents have questioned their willingness to guinea pig their child for the project.

When Seun’s mom made the point about how the administration at Dalton made it seem like only the black students needed tutoring when in fact 90% of the students were receiving tutoring- I think she may have called it for what it was, but we all know that most films are really made in the editing room :(

I do think it’s worth an accusation-free discussion (if possible) to really understand that WE, black adults – especially parents in this case – MUST fight white domination. That is what will make way for the opportunities we lovingly want for our children – not further reinforcing their dominance.

I don’t want to ramble on but one thing to note : While many of them are now defunct, there were highly academic independent black schools, at least during the first half or so of those boy’s sentence at Dalton. In NYC. We keep talking about homeschooling – we had it! We had it and many grew to having public spaces. But a generation of unwed parents came along, people who “kicked it” and produced children without forethought – and the willingness to support non-public schools went out the door. As soon as they could get out of daycare costs many black parents were dumping children into the public school system.

I don’t agree with Dr. Welsing on everything but one thing she advocates that is totally true – we have to plan for these children. We have to get ourselves as together as possible BEFORE producing children. Look how difficult it was for the “middle class” PAIR-ents of these boys. Black Love is a Revolutionary Act and it’s the love necessary to wage war against white domination.

Sorry to ramble. Let’s critique the film some more.
________________



TrojanPam says:
February 21, 2014 at 5:21 pm
@ LBM

Thanks for reminding me about the likelihood that some of the comments by the parents could have been edited out to make the film more marketable.

Talking about racism/white supremacy would be the kiss of death for a black production hoping to be aired publicly.

Also, I agree that an “accusation-free” discussion is more constructive than blaming other black people for our reactions under a system of oppression.

Thanks for reeling me in off my sometimes self-righteous tirades. God knows I make a ton of mistakes trying to navigate this minefield without blowing a foot off.

Unfortunately, this is where we are — literally, in enemy territory, and we need to find the courage to deal with our problems, and that begins with telling ourselves the TRUTH about our condition and telling our children the truth about what they will face out in the world.

_________________



TrojanPam says:
February 21, 2014 at 5:57 pm
@ Pamela

I have mixed feelings about the Little Rock Nine. They were exceptionally brave (I would have been terrified at their age!) but at the same time I don’t believe we should put our children in that position to begin with. The message it sends to black children is they can’t receive a quality education UNLESS they’re sitting next to a white person.


____________________________



TrojanPam says:
March 19, 2014 at 9:59 am
@ sondis

I found this from my post — After the Trayvon Martin Verdict What Can Black People Do? Part Five

“@ Mariama

I agree on both counts. When I hear other black people asking for more “diversity” on TV, I think — whoa! look what we get when they put us on TV either buffoons, sit-clowns, criminals, totally assimilated blacks (who don’t know any other black people), or white men’s w____ (Scandal) and let’s not forget the fat and sassy overweight black females in TV commercials and black talk show hosts kissing plenty of white butt (sorry, Queen, but I’m talking about YOU)

I could really live without seeing any more of this madness that parades as “entertainment”

—————
from: Is “The Purge” Movie A Rallying Cry for White America?

There is also a stark absence of black males and black females loving and supporting each other. Usually, we are at each other’s throats or totally absent.

as a result, you can see the rampant anti-blackness growing within the black population especially between black males and black females (all by design)

And now the shoe has been shoved on the other foot. Instead of usually seeing black males sexing white females, it’s becoming common for the black female to either pursue sex OR be sexed by white males who have NO real romantic interest in her (WHITE MARRIED MEN DO NOT COUNT AS ROMANTIC SUITORS!)

popular TV shows like “Scandal” are so TOTALLY UNREALISTIC and so superficially written

like seeing a “powerful” black female barging into a meeting at the Oval Office to chastise a white male president for sexing a white female and who makes white district attorneys beg her for mercy. (Oh yeah, that’s really going to happen).”

————-

Keep in mind, Sondis, that BOTH BLACK MALES AND BLACK FEMALES are playing the role of white males AND white females “whores” — given that black males are:

1) having sex with white males
2) having sex with white females
3) are coerced into wearing dresses, women’s wigs, make-up, and high heel shoes in movies and for televised “fun” (like Dennis Rodman and Charles Barkeley)

I have noticed a very disturbing increase in the number of black males on line who are criticizing and condemning black females — and I predicted this would happen as the OPPRESSION against black people increased. That rather than addressing the REAL CAUSE of black male oppression, the FEAR of racist man AND racist woman would drive some black males to target black females as this is the SAFER WAY TO VENT.

And I decided I would NOT sit by silently and not say anything when I see it happening–and I would strongly suggest ALL JUSTICE-SEEKING black males and females do the same.

Black males and black females should NOT be throwing stones at each other because NEITHER ONE OF US has found a solution to system of white supremacy.

All this anti-black bashing promotes DISUNITY not UNITY at a time where our FUTURE here in america is on the line. It just doesn’t make SENSE.

By bashing each other, we are actually performing the SAME ROLES as the black entertainers we are ridiculing

doing racist man and racist woman’s DIRTY WORK aka BEING WHITE MEN’S WHORES


_________________

TrojanPam says: March 26, 2014 at 5:33 pm

@ LBM

I have observed the mainstream white supremacist media literally GUT the worth and decency of black females, by promoting AND rewarding white and black males who call us “nappy headed h___s,” “h___s” and “b____s,” (rap music), black males wearing dresses and wigs and stockings, portraying black females as violent, ignorant, and overweight “ghetto” black female while at the same time elevating black male/white female couples as “true love” — Seal and Heidi Klum, Kanye West and Kim K, P Diddy and Jo Lo, Ice Tea and Cocoa (?)” etc, etc, etc

And I knew exactly what I was looking WHILE at the same time, black male (and female, of course) oppression is rising, unemployment, police murders, black male on black male violence, incarceration, etc. AT THE SAME TIME these images are being promoted WHO are these increasingly DISENFRANCHISED black males being GROOMED to REDIRECT their anger, fear and frustration at?

at black females

It is the SAME kind of programming that grooms whites to REDIRECT their anger, fear and frustration in black people’s direction because they have already been taught that black people are INFERIOR, and therefore do NOT DESERVE to be treated with respect, and in fact, can and should be physically harmed or killed. it is the SAME kind of programming that grooms males in a male dominated society to REDIRECT their frustrations toward women (i.e. domestic violence, rape, murder, serial killing, street harassment, anti-female jokes, etc.) and the SAME programming is happening right under our noses — black males being encouraged to disrespect, dislike, blame and shun black females What should black females do in response to the increasing hostility directed at us?

1. STOP mistreating and demonizing other black females. It is the SAME thing when black people demonize other black people. When you hear or see something incorrect being done OR said to or about another black female SPEAK UP and speak TRUTH.

2. STOP tolerating abusive language and behavior EVEN if that means being alone. I guarantee you, the self-esteem damage that occurs when we are in an abusive relationship or in a relationship with a male who does not respect or really care for us will be more painful than being without a companion. I speak from personal experience.

3. STOP giving AID and COMFORT to black males who do NOT or will NOT give the same in return. WE are the first and sometimes ONLY ones they come to when trouble knocks on the door– YET we are the most disrespected. We TEACH people how to treat us and when there are NO consequences for bad behavior, the behavior will worsen. Too many black females are rescuing grown men and this is making them WEAK not strong.

4. STOP treating our sexuality (bodies) as though they are worthless. If a man doesn’t care about you, having sex with him won’t make him care. In fact, it deepens the hostility and dysfunction between us. I won’t get into a long list but suffice it to say that WE — black females — will have to address this issue much in the same way black people must address the issue of racism. And I speak from experience, having done ALL of the above, and learning my lessons the hard way.

 ________________


 TrojanPam says: March 28, 2014 at 1:37 am @ anonymous Not sure. There is too much passivity and non-participation to justify the amount of time and energy this would require. Maybe, I’ll create a poll to see how many people are interested. If I get few responses that will be my answer. Definitely am aware of the way black females treat each other — and whenever i bring this up, black females get SILENT, and have little to no comment, I suspect, because they know they are mistreating other black females.

I think it’s the same reason black people mistreat each other. That once you see how little respect a certain group gets from society at large, you start to mimic that behavior. I think many black females have INTERNALIZED such a degree of self-hatred (due to living in a black-hating, black-female-hating society), that they have begun to view OTHER black females in the SAME WAY they view themselves. It is the sign of an oppressed mind to mistreat people JUST because they look like you. In fact, it’s a form of insanity, a condition which afflicts the majority of the black population due to our brain-trashing and oppression under the system of white supremacy. That was the main reason I wanted to do a black female boot camp was to encourage us to stop turning our justifiable anger INWARD and on each other, and REDIRECT back to its source, be it whites and/or males of EVERY color.

By redirecting, I don’t mean mistreating anyone, what I mean is learning to STAND UP for ourselves and start supporting and defending our black womanhood. For example, I was in a black-owned vegan restaurant today and I was the only female out of the three customers there. This black male named Joe, who’s in his seventies, started off by talking about how bad white people treated black males (never black females, mind you). Then he went on to talk about ‘n___s’ and how we don’t stick together and how the white man never did nothing to him, it was always the “niggers” who did him wrong, and then, for his USUAL encore, he started attacking black females. One of the other black males, who appeared to be in his forties, was cosigning on everything Joe said. Well, to cut to the chase, I jumped in the conversation SINCE this was a PUBLIC PLACE and if you want to have a rant about black females, you need to do it where no black females are present because that’s the same as INVITING me to participate, understand? and that’s pretty much what I told them. I have run into this “attitude” so many times, where it is assumed that the presence of black females means it’s alright to talk bad about us. To make matters worse, some black males are resistant to a black female voicing her opinion about anything substantial. In other words, she doesn’t know her “place” if she talks about anything “worldly” such as politics.

Now, this isn’t true of all males but there is that subgroup, usually the most vocal who believe in subjugating black females in imitation of what they think the white man gets away with. So, when the younger male said, “we just having some man talk” I said, since there are males and females present in the room, I’m having a little “woman talk.” That’s like walking into a room as the only black person and having two white people start talking about black people. It’s a form of BULLYING. I went on to say that it made NO SENSE for black males and females to be bashing each other in public with all the problems we have. While the conversation was going on, a black female customer walked into the restaurant. She couldn’t help but hear the conversation but she never said a word even when the males were bashing black females.

I suspect it’s because many black females are so used to being bashed they have NUMBED themselves to OR some are so afraid of alienating black males since we know the bonds between us are so fragile, that they put up with it. But my thinking is this: 1. Why should I accept anyone’s mistreatment as normal? 2. IF YOU ARE TRASHING ME AND BLAMING ME FOR WHAT THE WHITE PEOPLE ARE DOING TO YOU, THERE IS NO BOND BETWEEN US TO BREAK. AND that’s why black females need a boot camp, but again, the passivity and lack of participation and feedback gives me second thoughts, especially since I am knee deep in a different project.


__________________


Vette says: March 31, 2014 at 11:48 am @ Trojan Pam In addition, black males (I much rather call them negros) who choose to see black females as the enemy are, imo, just as bad or worst than white supremacist because of so much white supremacy brain trashing. They become white supremacist in black bodies. Sooo very sad. Sometimes I understand (not agree with) why some black females embrace white or non-black males who may show them some respect.

 __________________

 TrojanPam says:

April 2, 2014 at 8:32 pm @ vette It is a sad situation for a people under increasing attack on the emotional, spiritual, economic, and political fronts to be engaging in behaviors (like IR sex/relationships) that GUARANTEES we won’t have ANY kind of business or economic base or security in an increasingly hostile white society. Surely, we are NOT in our right minds.

 ___________________

 originalwoman13 says: April 4, 2014 at 11:23 am @ TrojanPam I have experienced this black female vs. black female angst in which you speak of all of my life from females in and outside of my family. I don’t have many female friends and that is okay. I most definitely never had any white female friends and a few black female friends. With black females in particular I find that many tend to turn on one another for the littlest things. For example, in junior high and up until my second year in high school I was bullied by black females because my hair was “too nappy” which resulted in my literally begging my mom to start relaxing my hair so that the bullying would stop. My hair was natural, long, and thick. I later found this to be just jealousy because many black females coveted long hair and wished for it because of the myth that black girls/woman cannot have long hair. A few years back when I started studying counteracism and started focusing on the treatment of black females in this society I found that some black females will throw other black females even little girls under the bus for a black male who does not deserve defending. Black people especially many black males who have respect for Malcom X need to really think about his comment that the BLACK WOMAN IS THE MOST MISTREATED PERSON IN AMERICA. I think it is also safe to say that the black woman is also the most mistreated person in the world. One way we as black women/girls can learn to value ourselves and other black women/girls is to learn who we truly are instead of continuing to let white supremacy braintrashing/programming to do so. We are the mothers of man/mankind, mothers of civilization, the original women, queens, goddessess, etc. No other group of women on this planet has these titles. No one.


 _____________


 TrojanPam says: April 4, 2014 at 8:12 pm @ originalwoman13


 I cosign on everything you said. It is very, very difficult to form lasting and constructive friendships with other black females, especially once we become adults because the insecurities and mistreatment over a lifetime has deformed our personalities and self-confidence, and self-esteem At that point, other black females become competitors and a threat to us. That’s why I am considering creating a Black Female Boot Camp to address these issues AMONGST OURSELVES.


I don’t think most of us understand how damaging it is to OURSELVES to express so much dislike toward other black females when we are black females. there’s a reality show called Hip Hop Atlanta that I watched over a period of time and the one thing that stood out was how EVERY SINGLE BLACK FEMALE on that program had a destructive relationship with a man. And the second thing I noticed was how angry and psychologically devastated they were–and you could see this anger and pain (and self-hatred) in the way they addressed each other: rachet ass ho bitch side piece I wanted to reach through that TV screen and shake them and say, “Don’t you know YOUR LANGUAGE toward each other actually destroys your own self-esteem as black females?” And all the black females (young and old) who watch this kind of “programming” will begin to internalize more self-contempt and contempt for other black females as NORMAL.

 I have watched countless black females PERK UP in the presence of a black male who they do not even respect, it’s just the MALENESS that they respond to like people in a desert spotting a glass of water they know MIGHT BE a mirage but they are so thirsty, they stop caring and just go on believing. And I agree with you that the MAIN reason we are attacked AS black females is EVERYONE on the planet (except us and many black males) KNOW WHO WE ARE. And it is their fear of the awakening of black people all over the planet that keeps them as silent or vocal conspirators in our demonization.

 Because once the black female AWAKES, this will trigger the AWAKENING of black males and there will be no greater SPIRITUAL FORCE on the planet. That’s why there is so much effort put into killing us, destroying us, and turning us against each other.